Why my name? Well, technically, legally, it isn’t. Not even close. Let’s talk about how I got this one.
Ever since I can remember I’ve always hated my birth name. Don’t ask me what it is, I’m not going to tell you. Throughout the years I’ve used a verity of nicknames and pseudonyms both online and off. Kiki, a nickname given to me in middle school and still makes its appearance in a few of my older usernames today, was one I was particularly fond of.
I’ve always had a sort of affinity for K names, it seems. That’s probably one of the reasons my firstborn daughter’s name is Kylie.
So, after coming out, I was faced with the challenge of coming up with something to be called. I knew I wanted to change my name, and I knew immediately it would not be to the male counterpart of my birth name, the one people used to mock me in school.
After running a few suggestions and getting answers from friends, it became apparent everyone was taking it as a joke – including me. After all, I was just going to change my Facebook name to something to help me be more neutral with my online friends, not change my name in my social life.
So, when my husband suggested Calcifer, after the fire demon in one of my favourite book series, it was perfect. “You should start it with a K so everyone can spell it wrong, just like your birth name” he said. Excellent. Kalcifer it was.
So that name worked for awhile as a fun nickname but it was both hard to spell and weird. I loved it though, and my husband was even so kind as to start trying to call me by it. It made me pretty happy. I started using it when meeting new people in certain social groups that it would be more appropriate.
Once I became pregnant with the twins, I needed online support groups badly to combat the depression from my HG and the stress of a high risk (and constantly changing) twin pregnancy. During the interim, something interested happened. People started using Kal as a nickname. My husband and I agreed that it would be much more mature to shorten the name and go with that, seeing as it was starting to stick.
I never really put a lot of thought into the name, which in some ways is better. I do have something I like more that I plan on legally changing my name to, but I’ll still go by Kal both online and off, since it’s been my name for 2 years now. It will be my middle name. The first name will keep me somewhat safe from my online persona when applying for jobs and filling out stuff related to the kids.
So, that’s how I got this name.